First, cheese.
1. You can eat pizza. Cannibalizing your significant other is usually frowned upon.
2. Pizza is covered in cheese. Your S.O. hopefully is not.
3. If your pizza is warm, greasy, and gooey, that's a good thing. If your S.O. is warm, greasy, and gooey, that is not a good thing.
4. Drunk eating: Messy, but good. Drunk sexing: just messy.
5. Pizza always wants to be eaten. A S.O. sometimes has a "mood" and doesn't want to talk to you.
6. Pizza is quiet and respectful. You can't get into a screaming match with pizza.
7. You don't have to buy chocolates and roses for pizza on Valentine's Day. You just eat it.
8. You don't have to argue with pizza over what you are watching on Netflix.
9. Pizza won't get mad at you like your S.O. would if you start seeing (eating) someone else.
10. Pizza will never leave the toilet seat up.
11. Pizza always wants to snuggle with you — in your mouth.
12. Pizza is ALWAYS excited to try new positions — folding it in half, cutting it into pieces, eating the crust first.
13. Also, pizza loves to "experiment." Why not try some pizza with meatballs on top? S.O.s aren't always down for the same.
14. Pizza will love you unconditionally, no matter what.
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